is freaking bad mood

what the hell !!
its comes so suddenly ~ what is in my freaking mind right now? i dun even think of you, but WHY??? the pain is approached to me? ishh ~ wtf!!!

yea~ i rude~ because im darn freaking hate this kind of feeling, i wan to pass through this freaking tough time ~ i DAMN HATE !!!!...

please ..please GOD ...release me ~ let me free of this pain ~ i really dun wan it anymore..as ppl said its useless ~ is not worth for me to keep myself in sadness ~ baby please ...please stop keep myself in pain ~

day after day ~ 3rd Dec ~ 5 months ago ~
finally i knew why im pain now ~
because of this !!!! wtf!!!
im still counding ~ is really a sucks thing i did ~
forget please ~ let the day become ordinary, there have nothing special
is not a smart way to count my freaking sadness day,
be smart, be intelligent ~ this the only i have to do but not keep in pain~

please ~ i just need someone to talk with me ~
i need someone the acc me ~ yet ~ here have no one ~
maybe GOD wan me to bear this freaking pain by myself,
not to depends others ~
yet ..i have to accept and face it ~

yesterday went for a movie ~ NEW MOON ~
this story line is darn interesting for me ~
the romance ~ the pain ~ and the end of choices ~
wth ~
the pain of bella ~ is just like me ~
A HUGE HOLE PUNCHED IN MY HEART
its really a big hole ~
every night i awake ~ to look at the mobile
wish that i can saw a goodnight message that send by you usually..
yet..i get nothing ~ 5 months ago ~
is still keep waiting ~

but ~ baby yen,
you are clear..you know that message will NOT come to you ever n ever again
please, gain a nice n good sleep condition from now on ~
no more dreams of him
please ~
please do this to yourself ~
no matter how hard is it~ you will be success to been through this ~
be strong, be bravo...
believe on yourself, but not him
every single word he told is just LIE !!
he is a LIAR ~
baby ~ not to trust on him anymore ~ those are history ~ please
build up your future by yourself..
go with the future without him ~

you are not longer belong with him
you are yourself ~
your world is AWESOME without HIM..

MAKE IT !!
DO IT !!
RELEASE IT ~

xoxo

决定

这两个字意思。。

很难能做得好的一件事~

决定，必须拥有巨大的勇气，因为我们都必须承受决定以后的结果。。
该结果。。是好是坏。。会后悔？　会遗憾？
真的很难去决择。。

１５岁那年～
我的第一个决定~
选者了商科。。放弃了我的理想。。
现在回想～有那么一点后悔～如当时的我，选择了科班。。会是怎样？

17岁。。第二个决定。。
我还是拿了别人都认为好的科目~
当然我也很平淡风轻的度过了~

19岁。。我遇上了他～
和他的这一段感情 ~
真得很美～
是别人眼中不被看好的一对~
也是没有未来的一对～

21岁。。毕业了~
踏上了上班族的领域～
在那之前还在犹豫着该继续升学？还是工作~
随后还是选择了后者～
因为。。我别无选择～

21 岁的我~　
这一年～　发生了很多的巨变～
我不懂怎么样度过这一切~
像是很难～但也好像很幸运
很多挣扎。。但好像都被我熬过了

如今～12月~ 2009 年的最最后的一个月~
是否干下个“决定”？
让自己去做呢？
很难。。我的心。。真的不懂怎样去做这个决定
因为我怕没这样的毅力去完成~

谁能保证。。所做的决定都能不后悔？
哈哈～
但我懂～没有人能~所以人往往都会为自己做错的决定而后悔～
我不想要有这样的感觉~
因为这感觉真得很痛～

但愿上苍怜爱。。不要让我拥有～
因为。。我已无法再承受“痛”
我一直都在珍惜。。。不让自己有后悔的一刻～

我能吗？

今天的我很冷～

那天我扬起帆
想看看未知的海
心里很多话想说说不出来
虽然我脸上看不出来
天空一样蔚蓝 却换了多少云彩
那时的你让我幸福百分百
是否为我等待
我知道我的爱一直都会存在
没有你泪停不下来
你知道我依赖多不想say googbye
我痛说不出来
我知道我的爱一直都会存在
没有你快乐都停摆
某一天我期待和你笑的灿烂
回头看爱 都在
站在你的门外
我却幸福在徘徊
心里很多话想说说不出来
但我想你一定都明白
时间过的好快 想念却不曾更改
现在的你是否幸福百分百 我应该怎么猜
爱一直存在

will be continue ~~

超强的意志力！！！

１１月１　日～

一个极限的挑战~　

一个有惧高症的女孩～我！！！

选择了面对~　与克服。。。我的超强意志力！！

第一站：

示范：。。。

我已发抖的不象话~

很高！！　很怕～!!　我很想放弃～

玩了这一站~　我已满身汗。。发抖～恐惧感从心而发。。太恐怖了啦。。但我还是撑下去！！我不停的往上爬。。我不敢往下看～我对自己说~　爬上去～不要回头~ 不要看~可是当我爬上了

第２站：ｆｌｙｉｎｇ　ｆｏｘ．．．．

很高～很远~我不敢踏出第一步～

我无法退后~不敢向前～我站在platform 上..呆住了~

朋友的加油声：嘉忻！！加油！！　ｊｕｓｔ　ｄｏ　ｉｔ　！！　

我盖上眼睛～往下蹲。。一晃~我向前方飞去。。　我放声呐喊。。

啊。。。。。。。。。

我过了～但还有更高的阶梯要我爬。。。

another higher challeges have to go with...i have feel that im out of strenght..the stair is soooooooo high ~ i have to use all my strenght to go with it .. .again i feel like "give up"

yet, i told myself ~ : you cant give up like this ~ you can do it ~

the stick is swinging ~ i cant balance it ~ i asked again ~ i wan to turn back~ i cant move forward..help me ~ i cant make it ~ but then there have no one can lend me their hand, yet i just can keep my way, and be calm ~ just use my hand n legs ~ balance it ~ use my way to go thru that ..again ~ i have overcome this challeges staged ~

today, i have been thru alots of challeges stages ~ i cant believe that i have successfully go thru all this challegs..with my strength? my energy? supporting for a branch of friends?a belief on myself? a feeling to overcome? or something in heart that i wan to release out ~

once i decided to join ~ i feel that im going to suicide ~ because im darn freaking scare high ~ i will faint ~ sweating ~ but ~ i have make it finally ~ even i really fear ~ but i still can succeed ~ im bravo ~ lolz ~

this challenges is really mean alot for me ~

its just like our life..once you wear up the gear, you are ready to face the challeges infront ~ once tou climb up the stair ~ you have no way to go down again ~ the only choice ~ move forward, once you step out ..you will feel the fun of flying fox, its amazing ~ you are flying in the air...again ~ you have to climb up to a high level ~ to feel the higher feeling ~ overcome the fear ~ accepted n make a the challenges succeed ~ everytime i feel that i have no strength to been thru ~ i will look at my friends ~ yet the support from them is useful ~ the sound is magic!!..im sweatinfg...thirsty...hungry...out of strength...but i have to bear it up...

i knew ~ once i overcome it ~ there have no more chanlleges for me ~ there no more hard thing for me to been thru..yet, i know that, i cant return, because there is no way for me to go back ~ i just can move forward...every steps i take ~ is nearer to success ~ i believe on that, yet its bring me to overcome all the challeges ~ ...

the satisfaction i have gained ~ cant explain by word ...

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE ~ !!!! ^.^b

p/s: dunnoe what happened ~ i cant type chinesse suddenly ><

the 82th post in my blog

for the day i created my blog...until today...
every single blog i worte ~ will realted him!!

sigh ~
i dunnoe how can i rescue myself..

im in the office, without soul..
nothing for me to do..
is such a bored bored extremly bored monday ><

yet, i have to say that..
last weeks was so tough for me to pass thru ~
the sux feeling is just keep approached to me...
i hate this !!!!! i really do !!!

is how suffer while im not able to cry...
the tear juat cant drop,
but the heart is pretty pain,
yet i cant breath n talk...
just silent and force myself to ignore the feelings

is just shit thing for me to bear with!!!

please please please ~
please enixx yen please ~
do better than you tot ~
as friends told,
we still have many things need to do ~
we cant just stand here,
have to move forward...

take a bravo feeling
and walk away ~

is almost 4 months ~
more than 100+ days adee

chill baby ~ chill

=)

can everything restart over again??

dont you ever watch a animation called 天空之城 君をのせて Laputa ???
it means a lot of me ~
he loves this animation ~ he loves the song...
before that i never try to listen it, but i know he loves it..and today, the first time i listen to this song... is touch~ but i feel comfortable while listen it ~ just like the feeling he gave to me ~
baby prince ~
you leave my life adee 97 days ~
dont you know ~ i still missing you every second?

i feel to share my feeling to you,
you know ~~ im so sad on today,
because one of my jimuis said that she feel that she not a good friend ~ even she's nobody real friend be with ~
when i saw it ~ the feeling is just like you told me that the feeling is fade away ~
i feel so cold ~ my mind is blank ~ i cant speak ~
but im trying to comfort her word by word...but i feel that ..again im giving stress to her

indeed ~
im not that good in manage a relationship ~
you ~ her ~ someone that be with me ~
i dunnoe what to do ~
i just keep listening this music and try to make myself calm n not to cry
because i know that,
you n her also have some tot in yours mind ~
but then ~
i cant understand ~

im sorry that i have bring stress to you ~
im not mean to be that
but i can tell you ~
I CARE , I LOVE , I APPRECIATE ~

baby ~
never giving up on the better further n relationship we should be

better in time ~ ^.^v

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
Going coming
Thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All that I know is I'mma be ok
[Chorus:]Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I'll believe in
And I know time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'mma be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is
I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: x2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love youI
'm gonna smile cause I deserve to (yes I do)
It'll all get better in time


will be better in time ~
finally here was the 3rd month without you in my life
everything is over ~

and now ~
im doing hard to decide this
LET GO GO GO GO ~~~

will stop myself ~
but ~
nothing gonna change the feeling im have to you ~

maybe god bless us,
stay bliss ~